Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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