Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
