i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
