This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
