Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
