are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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