i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize