He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
