I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
