on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
