dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
