She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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