You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
