I just saw a hot homeless man
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
