i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
