Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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