Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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