I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
