i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
