So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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