how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
