Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
