Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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