So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
