His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
