It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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