Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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