It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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