i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
