Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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