How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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