That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
