i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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