i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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