I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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