STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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