my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My vagina just recognized that song.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
