I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
