Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
A+ Viking dick
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