ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
