well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
