Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
