also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
