Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
