Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
