I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
