Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
