i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I cockslap morals
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
its liver damage thursday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
