I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize