Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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