Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Bring me that man meat
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
