Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
