The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
