bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
