Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
