I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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