Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize