I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
