none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
