lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
