Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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