Pregnant stripper...not hot.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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