So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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