I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was born a porn star she said
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
