i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
