I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize