well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
