How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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