I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
