Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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